One warm summer day in July 2017 Holly Conklin
showed up in the back-parking lot of my work. Little did I know it was going to
be the 1st day of the most important relationship in my life.
I was beaten, broken and so lost for so long, I was also in denial
about just how deep in, I really was, in my addiction at the time. My family had tried to
do their own intervention and that didn’t work out so well for them which is where Holly
came in on that warm summer day in July.
I took to Holly right away, because right away she told me her story and although I hadn’t spilled mine yet I just listened, because I wasn’t able to just relate but I was actually HER only 15 yrs. later. I started seeing Holly while I was still using and even still dealing at the time about 2x a week for a few months. I was showing up but thought that I could get away with just going through the motions and manipulating my way by telling her what I thought she wanted to hear when she knew the real truth the whole time, because she’d been there, done that.
Slowly I starting “forgetting” appointments and she would have this way of getting me back in there and warned me that if I didn’t stop and make a choice that things would come crashing down and then I may find myself with fewer choices or none at all…I did not heed her warning and in February 2018 my house was raided, March 2018 I was arrested and held on a 72 hr. hold for a possession charge which had caused me to miss a custody hearing for my son then I was arrested again in April 6 hrs. away from home on a trafficking charge of 152 grams of Methamphetamine. This is where the relationship, between Holly and I, got really close and real serious. On April 19th my family got together after numerous begging and pleading phone calls to please come bail me out and that I was willing to do anything to make that happen so my family came together and Holly drove all the way, 6 hrs., to come bail me out and then again only to drive me 12 hrs. straight north to Michigan where I would enter into an inpatient treatment center for no less than 45 days. Inpatient Rehabilitation was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and never did I think I would be “that person”. I had always had control of my life… or so I thought. On that day of walking through those doors and into treatment, I made
“the choice” that I was not going back to the life I had been living and hiding behind. When I started to regain my feelings and emotions, I started to realize all the pain and misery that I caused so many of the people whom really mattered and meant the most to me in my life especially my children. It wasn’t until then when I started to take responsibility for my part and my choices was I able to accept and let go and forgive myself which started to free me. I learned and allowed myself to love myself for the 1st time ever in my life and finding myself through the native program allowed me to find my spirituality again (this was my choice) as I still continue to practice, follow and lean on.
As I got closer to my 45 day mark I realized I had just began this journey and I was nowhere close to where I needed to be and made the choice to continue working my program and stayed a total of 76 days. I graduated on my birthday June 30, 2018 and when I came home I went straight into Holly’s IOP
program at Angel Intervention Services LLC and have successfully completed Phases I & II to date and have not had a relapse since, making me clean 13+ Months to this day and counting. I am only required to attend 1 day a week at this phase which I am currently in but choose to attend 2 or more times a week because as I have learned repetition over time equals certainty and that is the absolute truth.
I had obviously faced serious charges, between all of my charges, I looking at 6 felonies and 2 major misdemeanors which with all of Holly’s guidance, support, and relentless knowledge she showed up to every single major court date (6 hrs. away) and spoke on my behalf, supported me emotionally and mentally and there wasn’t anything she wasn’t willing to do to help me help myself succeed. Because of Holly’s knowledge and experience and me doing what she said and just doing the next right thing…the next right thing happened every time. The final outcome was 2 year parole/probation with treatment in lieu for one possession charge which will be removed from my record upon successful completion, the other 2 years’ probation on a pretrial diversion will fall off also upon successful completion…this is not typical and very much unheard of and I truly believe that had I not had Holly in my life and by my side, it is a FACT, I would be doing 15+ years in prison instead of sharing my story.
Because I have applied the group lessons and actively participated and applied Holly’s information and guidance in my life I now have restored my relationships, especially those with my kids, I no longer have supervised visits and my daughter has actually chosen to move in with me. I was able to achieve gainful employment, with whom I was completely honest about my background, at a company which allows me to provide for my family, have health benefits, 401k, paid vacation, and has helped allow me to start over. I now also have my own place, can pay all my bills and repay debt where I caused damage.
This journey has been a struggle, to say the least, HOWEVER I am living proof that when you make the decision to make a change and you put the work in along with the ability to take responsibility, learn with an open mind, have the willingness to apply and duplicate what Holly has to offer…life changing results WILL happen!
I will no longer call myself an addict because that is not who I am today, who and what I am today is living proof of what successful Recovery looks like.
If You or a Loved one is Struggling With Drug or Alcohol Addiction